He'll Never Live This Down
by Breadwing
Summary: When Sides finds a femme, Sunny finds himself lonely and so he asks out the only bot he finds adequate: himself. This can't end well...


_**A/N I have been meaning to type this up for ages x) This came about from PMing Ontuva and we got onto this somehow, credit to her for some of the dialogue and plot! Check out her fic Breaking The Cage, it's pretty awesome. The femme is intentionally unnamed; I don't feel she's a main character or important enough to me to have a name. Enjoy!**_

…

"I've got a femme-friend!" Sides called out to the bots and humans congregating in the rec room. He pulled the femme forward and she smiled as he brought her closer to his side; it wasn't like Sideswipe was shy about this kind of thing, he never was that type of bot. Everyone suddenly fell silent at his sudden announcement and just stared at the mech's grinning face.

A few seconds passed by before an audible thunk was heard. Sunstreaker had glitched, his optics bulging out of his faceplates... He looked even more like a fish than usual. 'how the Pit did Sides get a femme before me? I'm beautiful!' he'd thought, the impossible was somehow possible! Oh, the horror. Sunny twitched in usual dramatic fashion before falling still, sort of like a dying fish.

Ironhide, who hadn't witnessed Sideswipe's little announcement, decided at that moment to walk in. He stared at Sunstreaker for a minute, lost for words before saying "What the frag happened to him?"

…

It was a few days after Sideswipe's little - sorry - BIG confession and he and his femme had stopped Sunstreaker in the hall way to suggest one of her friends to him.

"No one is good enough for me!" Sunstreaker paused "...Well except me of course" as he brought out a mirror and admired his fabulous face plates. Sideswipe and his new femme-friend looked at each other surprised and slightly bemused at the huge mirror that Sunstreaker had managed to acquire from somewhere. The mech in question was preening and pouting at the mirror, Sides was sure he saw a wink thrown in there.  
>"Well if you're sure..."<p>

"Of course I am. Anyway, I've got a date tonight."

Sides stared at his brother, how did he get 'acquainted' with someone so fast? He was happy for him though and smiled "Who's the lucky femme?"

"Myself."

Sideswipe stared again, this time in pure horror. Had his twin finally gone insane? "Sunny, you aren't a femme."

Sunstreaker thought Sideswipe was obviously the crazy one at that moment "I'm not stupid," Sides snorted at this "Didn't I just say only I was good enough? So I just asked myself out and of course I said yes! Not even I can resist my charms." he smirked triumphantly, having thought he just got one up on his brother.

"Maybe we'd better get you to Ratchet..." the femme piped up

Sunny snarled, "_No_! I need to get ready, I have to look perfect."

"Sunstreaker, maybe you shouldn't go out tonight..."

"How dare you try to tell me to ditch myself! You inconsiderate idiot, I love myself! I could never leave myself."

Sideswipe slowly backed away and left his brother to ranting about how he was 'perfect for himself', vowing to get Ratchet to have a look at the sociopath's processor.

…

Later that evening, Sunstreaker had polished his chassis to perfection and brushed up on his 'amazing' pick-up lines. There was no way he'd be able to refuse himself. Clearing his processor, he took a few deep breath cycles to calm down and made his way to a lonely corner of the base.

When he got there, he was relieved to see that all the preparations he'd put in place were still there: a huge table with two chairs opposite each other, a Cybertronian sized light resembling a glow stick and another ginormous mirror (that Sides had gotten him to make up for the shock of his new femme) propped up on one of the chairs.

He smirked and took his seat opposite the mirror, nervousness welling up. He subspaced some energon before making conversation "hey there handsome mech." And the butterflies vanished.

He took a dreamy sip of energon, staring into his glowing optics reflected back at him "You are the most shiny mech I have ever seen."

"Oh I know, I know. You aren't so bad yourself!"

"Flatterer!"

"No, you are!"

He giggled with himself, blushing. The date went well, so well in fact he made arrangements with himself to meet up again sometime. Sunny got very excitable which caused everything to go downhill for the poor mech. He leaned into peck the mirror, but in his girlish high spirits, he leaned too far and toppled the table.

Smash.

His date was in smithereens on the floor. Sunstreaker sat there for a moment before wailing "Oh my Primus... I killed myself! My one true love!" he fell to his knees in the remains of the mirror dramatically (like he'd seen in one of the squishy's films) and sobbed.

Bots and humans alike heard the weird grating cries and scurried outside to see Sunstreaker curled up in the shards of mirror trying to console himself over his apparent death.

Needless to say, he never lived it down.


End file.
